Thursday night: Susana puts on a little red dress. We are going out to the martini bar with John the doctor. He is some guy she was having sex with before she took off for the West Coast. He is not really a doctor, just a medical student. He will be driving three hours to see her. “Jennifer, I don’t know if you will like him. He is totally not your type. He’s a really cheesy romantic guy – he opens car doors for me and gives me ridiculous complements….but he’s such a good lover”. I am listening to her, trying not to be judgmental. She has a boyfriend back in Portland, but supposedly it’s an open relationship, open on her end at least. “He fucks me just right. It’s like he’s really forceful and just takes charge but he’s really gentle too. It’s the best.” There was some silence as I basked in my slight jealousy. “He’s a total yuppie – you won’t like him”.
John the doctor shows up with heart shaped boxes of chocolates – for both of us. Susana was right in her description of him, but he brought us chocolate and I can appreciate that. We go to the martini bar and drink $7.00 cocktails with ridiculous names while we wait for my date to arrive. We are drinking, smoking, seeing people and being seen. The marginally employed musician I am dating shows up and orders a beer and a tequila. I’m sure our brief relationship will fizzle out by the end of the month, but it is nice to have a date for Valentine’s Day. It is nice to compete with Susana.
When we get back to the apartment I go to bed and let Susana and John the doctor do whatever they need to do in the living room. In the morning he is gone.
Friday: During the day we took red line to China Town. We see a beautiful young Chinese woman standing outside a building. She is wearing one of those tight shiny dresses with a mandarin collar. One tear streams down her cheek; the whole scene is totally surreal. It is as if we are watching a movie. Three Navy guys wearing those silly crackerjack uniforms leave the building. We realize that we are in front of a brothel.
That evening Nick comes over. He has driven two hours to see her before she leaves town. He is very nice. Too nice for her. Susana had told me the story of how they met. Susana had been living in his college town the summer before last. She went to a bar with the intention of finding someone to have sex with. She liked to have “goals” when she went out. She said it was an exercise in exploring feminism. It was probably more an exercise in exploring her perimeters, her ability the shut off her emotions, and a good practice session in becoming the femme fatale she eventually turned into. Nick was sitting alone at the bar. The interaction is hard for me to imagine, but according to Susana, she simply sat down next to him and said “will you have sex with me”. He nervously responded, “Okay”, and they went back to her apartment. It turned out he was a virgin.
I first became aware of the frightening power Susana had over men that weekend. I knew that Nick was totally devoted to Susana, so was John the doctor, so was her boyfriend. She knew no devotion. She wanted someone to worship her and look good on her arm. Everything else she could get from her female friends or herself. Sometimes I think she did not like men at all.
Before she left her and John the doctor met for one last good fuck. I realized that I barely knew her. I wanted to get know better. And I would.
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