Veronica and the Starling - Part I

One there was a little girl named Veronica. Everyday a beautiful black starling would tap on her window pain three times. The bird would sing her sweet songs and keep her company while she played with her dolls and did crossword puzzles (this Veronica was a smart one). One day Starling did not come to her window. He did not return the next day either. On the third day Veronica stuck her head out the window and yelled "Starling, oh starling, where are you???" The starling did not reply, but a new visitor did arrive. It was a fat black cat. "I am Fat Black Cat and I eat all things black; I have baked a pie full of starlings and eaten them all. HA HA HA!" Then Fat Black Cat scurried away.

Veronica went down to the breakfast nook to tell her mother. "Veronica honey, you know that starlings and fat black cats do not talk. And anyway, fat black cats do not have the motor skills to make a pie," mother replied as she unwrapped some frozen microwavable quiche, "one would need opposable thumbs to do that." Veronica's mother was clearly a woman of science. Veronica ran up to her room crying. She heard hear mother yell, "Honey, frozen quiche in 10 minutes! Don't be late for breakfast!" Veronica sat on her pink bed in despair. Fat Black Cat had eaten her best friend. What would she do?

Veronica thought the situation over. First, there was the possibility that Starling was still alive in Fat Black Cat’s stomach. She quickly ruled out that possibility. A bird could certainly survive being eaten by a whale. A whale has a huge cavernous body that a bird could live in for days. On top of that, the mild body chemistry of the plankton eating whale would not be so harmful to a strong bird like Starling. Sadly, Veronica knew that Starling could not survive being eaten by Fat Black Cat. Apart from the fact that his body was too small to give Starling adequate space and air, the stomach of the carnivorous cat is full of potent acid. Then there was the issue that, while a whale could swallow a bird whole, a cat would have to do some chewing. At least Starling had gone before she arrived in that volcano lava stomach.

The next issue was the choice between revenge and forgiveness. Certainly there was no point in just a nasty revenge. The karma would surely come back to her the future, maybe in seventh or eight grade. Experts say that the junior high years are some of the most important years developmentally. She did not want to deal with the bad karma of being a cat murderer, even if she was avenging the death of a friend. After all, just like that shirt at the mall said “An eye for an eye makes the work go blind.”

What about forgiveness? She could forgive Fat Black Cat, but then that nasty cat would never learn. The purpose of a penal system is not retribution; it is to reform the criminal so that he or she can go back to becoming a productive member of society. If she simply forgave Fat Black Cat he would certainly go on to gobble of other girl’s friends. This could not happen. Veronica knew she needed to devise a plan that would teach Fat Black Cat a lesson.

All day Veronica thought it over. By dinner she knew what she would do. Veronica finally left her room and went to the kitchen after mother called her for dinner. Dinner that night was canned peaches and chicken Kiev that was warm on the outside, but very cold on the inside. Why was all the food mother cooked hot on the outside and cold on the inside? When ever she stayed at friend’s houses for dinner the food was not like this. Certainly Starling’s mother had not fed him worms that were frozen in the center. She did not understand this. She would have to investigate further.

The next morning Veronica started her plan. She knew she had only 5 days to do it since it was late August and fourth grade would be starting next week. The first step was to capture Fat Black Cat. Since Fat Black Cat ate all things black she needed to gather up some black food to catch that hungry cat, but what was black anyway? Wasn’t black just other colors in a darker shade – so dark that the illusion of having no color is created? Veronica looked up black in Dictionary.com and found thirty definitions! They are as follows:

Adjective-

1. lacking in hue and brightness; absorbing light without reflecting any of the rays and composing it.

2. characterized by the absence of light; enveloped in darkness (ex- a black night)

3. (sometimes with a capitol letter) a. pertaining or belonging to any of the various populations characterized by dark skin pigmentation, specifically the dark-skinned peoples of Africa, Oceania, and Australia. b. African American

4. soiled or stained with dirt

5. gloomy: pessimistic; dismal (ex- a black outlook.)

6. deliberately; harmful; inexcusable (ex – a black lie)

7. boding ill; sullen or hostile; threatening (ex- black words; black looks)

8. (of coffee of tea) without milk or cream.

9. without any moral quality or goodness; evil; wicked. (ex – His black heart has concocted another black deed.)

10. indicating censure, disgrace, or a liability to punishment (ex – a black mark on one’s record)

11. marked by disaster or misfortune (ex- Black Friday)

12. wearing black or dark clothing or armor (ex – the black prince)

13. based on the grotesque, morbid, or unpleasant aspects of life (ex – black comedy, black humor)

14. (of a check mark, flag, ect) done or written in black to indicate, as on a list, that which is undesirable, sub-standard, potentially dangerous, etc.: Pilots put a black flag next to the ten most dangerous airports.

15. Illegal or underground.

16. showing a profit; not showing any losses: the first black quarter in two years

17. deliberately false or intentionally misleading: black propaganda

18. British. boycotted, as certain goods or products by a trade union

19. (of steel) in the form in which it comes from the rolling mill or forge; unfinished

noun-

20. the color at one extreme end of the scale of grays, opposite to white, absorbing all light incident upon it. Compare white (def. 19).

21. (sometimes initial capital letter) a. a member of any of various dark-skinned peoples, esp. those of Africa, Oceania, and Australia. b. African American

22. black clothing, esp. as a sign of mourning: He wore black at the funeral

23. Chess, Checkers. the dark-colored men or pieces or squares

24. black pigment: lamp black

25. Slang. black beauty.

26. a horse or animal that is entirely black

verb (used with object)-

27. to make black; put black on; blacken

28. British. to boycott or ban

29. to polish (shoes, boots, etc.) with blacking

verb (used without object)-

30. to polish (shoes, boots, etc.) with blacking

adverb

31. (of coffee or tea) served without milk or cream.

This was going to be a bigger job than she had expected. Thirty definitions and four parts of speech. Veronica decided to focus on the nouns first. After all, it is easier to eat an object than an action or an abstract idea. Upon looking over the noun definitions she found that this may not have been the best idea. The first noun definition was the color black itself, which can not be eaten. She looked at number two. There was only one African American girl at her school. She was very nice. Even if she was not nice, however, Veronica had no intention of asking her to wait to be eaten by a hungry mean cat. Finding a black horse was not an option either. The remaining three definitions did work, however. Veronica found a black checker piece, one of her dad’s black socks, and a black pen that she would be draining the ink out of when the time was right. Three food choices were just not enough though. It was clearly impossible to eat an action, but some of the adjective definitions may work. Obviously she could just feed the cat black colored food, what about all of these other meanings of black. Who knew what Fat Black Cat meant when he said “I eat all things black.” Cats are complex creatures.

Veronica decided to go over to her friend Fawn’s house. Fawn and her mom and six cats. On top of that Fawn’s mom was a college professor and was very smart. When Fawn opened the door it looked as if she had been dusting the book shelves. “My mom said that if I dust all the book cases I can watch one whole hour of television tonight! Maybe you can come over.” Veronica knew from past visits that the Fawn’s television was permanently set on that channel that always has the pledge drives. Ms. Morgan said that they lost the remote. “Fawn, your mom knows a lot about words and cats, right?” “Oh yeah, mom’s vocabulary is huge! Do you want to talk to her”? “Yes, I have a few questions.”

Ms. Morgan was in her office with the blinds drawn. “Ms. Morgan, can you eat an abstract idea”. “Well Veronica", she replied as she pushed up her glasses, "to quote Tom Robbins: 'To an artist a metaphor is as real as a dollar'. I would say that to the thinking woman or man an abstract idea is as real as any tangible object. One can certainly eat an abstract idea in a figurative sense.” “What about cats? Can cats eat abstract ideas in a figurative sense?” Ms. Morgan thought for a while. “Cats – yes. Dogs – no.”